


The Death Note is Dead, Long Live the Decoupage!

by certs_up



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Decoupage rules!, Deliberate Badfic, M/M, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Shinigami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 03:57:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2214909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/certs_up/pseuds/certs_up
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light has a new love--decoupage! Ryuk is devastated. Will their love ever recover from this blow?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Death Note is Dead, Long Live the Decoupage!

Ryuk's eyes were red, but it was not because they were naturally red, even though they were. He had been crying uncontrollably, silent tears of loneliness, because Light had betrayed him.

"Light!" he had cried out. "Why are you neglecting the Death Note? It was my special present to you, Light! You and only you among all the human race were deemed worthy to carry out its evil motives! But now it sits neglected while you stink up your room with ... what is that, anyway?"

Light looked up with a big grin on his face. "It is MOD PODGE, and its odor is ambrosia to me. Now I know why I was so unhappy with the state of the human race. I was blaming the evil in men's hearts, but in reality it was the emptiness of my own heart. I wanted to punish everyone else's evil, but it was really my evil I wanted to punish. But now I am a better man, Ryuk! I have discovered the beautiful and, through it, the sublime! Look at this!"

Light held up a shiny bento box.

"Look at the beauty of this, Ryuk! Look at the beautiful colors! Your Death Note is nothing but a piece of trash beside the _Country Living_ magazines that I cut these pictures out of before I decoupaged them onto this bento box! I have left behind the dark gloom of your Death Note and entered the cheerful and colorful world of crafting! And this--!" the reformed serial killer held up the open jar of Mod Podge "--this is my incense!"

"Please put the lid on that," murmured the tall shinigami, holding back tears. "Light, how can you betray me for something that smells worse than the food from my world?"

Light held the jar of Mod Podge under his nose and inhaled deeply. Just watching made the angel of death want to gag.

"Now I know you are evil, Ryuk. Only an evil being would not enjoy this smell. But I have seen the light, for I am Light, and I am right! Leave me now!" Light brandished the jar of Mod Podge, and Ryuk backed away like a vampire facing a cross.

Ryuk sat weeping in the world of the shinigami, and he held his own Death Note. But he could not bring himself to write in it the name of his beloved Light. He was a shinigami, and he would not die, and he would wait for Light's heart to turn dark again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is extra sad because do you know what Mod Podge smells like? It smells like white glue that has gone bad! Poor Ryuk, I feel so sorry for him because he is so cute and I love him so much and RYUUUUUUUUUUK!!1Eleventyone!!11!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Death Note is Dead Long - Art](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2232246) by Anonymous 




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